ITHACA, N.Y. — Ithaca police Officer Colin Hayward Toland made his first arrest Tuesday evening, when he stopped the Grinch from stealing Christmas presents from under the Christmas tree!
The Grinch was taken into custody and arraigned at Ithaca City Court shortly afterward.
Below is The Ithaca Voice’s seasonal retelling of the event, inspired by Dr. Suess’ “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” There are also plenty of photos and videos from the event.
“The Grinch Who Definitely Did Not Steal Christmas in Ithaca, Thanks to Officer Colin”
Every Ithacan in the city liked the holidays a lot…
But the Grinch, who lived on the Commons, did NOT!
The Grinch hated holidays! The whole winter season!
Now, I’m no detective. But that’s likely the reason.
The Grinch sought revenge on Ithacans tonight.
Stealing presents from Christmas trees, all in plain site!
But I think that the lucky reason to cheer
May have been that Officer Colin was here!
Whatever the reason, we all can agree
That 9-year-old Colin is the star of IPD
He came swooping in flanked by Mayor Myrick and Chief Barber
Looking for the Grinch, though no grudge he did harbor
So as the scoundrel loaded a bag with presents and more
And as people booed him from Center Ithaca stores
Officer Colin showed up and mightily shouted,
“Stop! You’re under arrest!” while the Grinch just pouted
Handcuffed, police led him to Ithaca court
Where Judge Scott Miller was ready to officially resort
To sending the Grinch far away for a very long time
He was convinced that the Grinch had committed the crime!
The accusatory, he read, went something like this:
“…the defendant did: steal wrapped Christmas presents from beneath the Christmas Tree located in the ground floor atrium area of Center Ithaca by attempting to conceal same on his person and fleeing from the area on foot.Such presents consisted of Pop Guns! And bicycles! Roller Skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! Let it be known that the defendant’s actions were committed in order to steal Christmas in general and furthermore that during his apprehension the Defendant stated “…Pooh Pooh to the Whos!…” as he was grinchishly humming, “…They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!…” “…They’re just waking up I know just what they’ll do!…””…Their mouths will hang open a minute or two…” “…Then the Whos down in Whoville will cry BooHoo!…” “…That’s a noise…”grinned the Grinch “…That I simply MUST hear!…”
(Hey! Poetry it’s not! But it’s all that we’ve got!)
Arresting Officer Colin said, “He seems very stinky.”
The Grinch sat there, head down, looking very slinky
Then assigned counsel attorney Seth Peacock spoke up!
The Grinch, Peacock said, is no average schlup
“This is the 53rd year
that my client has lived here
He is not a flight risk
There is no reason to whisk
him off to jail
instead you should set reasonable bail!
Or better yet, release him today
and he will make his way
back to court
espescially if you require him
to turn over his passport
my client is not a bad man
you must understand
to deal with this charge
I ask you allow him time for his heart to enlarge
he took this fall
becasue his heart was simply two sizes too small.”
Peacock spoke to Officer Colin and a deal was arranged
The Grinch landed probation
and was set free again!
Watch the live video of the arraignment below (It really gets started at 11 minutes into the video.)
And you can watch the the arrest go down in this video!