Ithaca, N.Y. — They know that they could try to adopt. They know they are a long way from being able to afford it. They know, in short, that the odds are slim.
Ithaca Is Bluegrass (Jan. 23-25)
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But after five heartbreaking failures, Amanda Romero and John Romero have not given up.
They are going to try again.
“It’s always worth trying. I think it’s always worth trying,” says Amanda Romero, who has worked for the Ithaca Youth Bureau for several years and now also works as a hostess at Coltivare downtown.
“I’ve always prayed and asked God, ‘Why can’t I have children?’ I see younger girls have children without the support or the right financial state and it’s like we always cross paths …”
The Romeros have been trying to have a baby since 2005. After discovering that a series of health problems precluded the usual methods, they’ve turned to two primary techniques — in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination — on five separate occasions.
The first few attempts failed without a sign of success. Then, in June, hospital staff delivered the news: Amanda Romero was pregnant.
There was evidence to prove it. An ultrasound showed the “little pea-size” fetus, Amanda Romero says.
“I was a little wary,” says John Romero, 30. “I was still doubtful, even when they said she was pregnant.”
John Romero’s fears were validated with stunning swiftness. The day after the ultrasound, Amanda Romero had a miscarriage.
“I felt lost, sad, angry & even disappointed in myself,” Amanda Romero says in the couple’s GoFundMe page. “I felt like I had let my husband down. One day I’m having one of the happiest day of my life & the next day is the worst day of my life.”
Worse still: Their insurance company won’t cover a sixth surgical attempt, according to the Romeros.
The couple’s struggles are a shame in no small part because of how talented Amanda Romero is with children, says Liz Vance, the new director of the Ithaca Youth Bureau.
“She’s really a strong community member,” says Vance, who has known Romero for about six years. “She works so well with young people.”
“She and her husband would bring and have a lot of love for a family.”
So far, the Romeros have raised $80. They are seeking $20,000 — in part because she already owes the CNY Fertility Clinic thousands of dollars — and to pay for ultrasound work, blood work, and other associated costs with the artificial insemination.
Amanda Romero has 11 embryos frozen in storage at the fertility clinic. She and her husband hope to try all of them until one works.
“We’re trying again,” John Romero says. “We’re trying to knock it out of the park this time.”